When my grandmother died last year I couldn’t even register it, it didn’t become real to me until Damian (my ex) passed this Monday that the concept of death hit me really hard. I can’t even deal with it & I feel like I have no one to talk to.. Not even family.
I feel like I’m dying inside, struggling to not hurt myself. Not even just about the deaths, I bottle so much up because when I vent people tend to call me dumb, or dismiss my feelings as if they aren’t important. I just hate the fact that they will only act like they gave a flying fuck about me once I’m gone. That won’t be long from now, I doubt it will be self inflicting, but I can feel it coming.
Even though no one responds or even reads these, I still post my feelings on here. This is the only place I can unload. It’s not like anyone gives a shit enough to listen.
My ex died on Monday, he got caught in a rip current. we weren’t together & haven’t been for years but I’m devastated, he was the love of my life, my motivation for everything great that I do & now he’s gone. 😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢💔💔💔💔💔💔 RIP Damian Frierson Jr.